Winning the War of Character

Character derives from virtue. And virtue is ALWAYS centered in action, not intentions.

In business, in order to grow, one must accept their missteps, their bad choices their misjudging of others, their faulty plans. Course correction is basically a daily and perhaps hourly necessity

A weak character is indicated by a person who cannot take criticism. They feel like they strengthen themselves with that kind of a protective shell - they think it shows strength to not be wrong. Yet, the strongest people I have ever met have been the quickest to acknowledge error.

At just about every Berkshire Hathaway shareholder meeting, someone asks Warren Buffett about how he has avoided the errors of life in order to become so respected and successful. His response generally starts with a chuckle and then something to the effect of “shall we discuss my mistakes in business? Do you have a few hours?” It’s funny, yet it is revealing. Here’s a man who has succeeded on a rock solid foundation of rational thinking and virtuous conduct. In order to become that way, it is essential for one to quietly accept their flaws, work to avoid them in future, and learn to live consciously about everything they do.

It’s not about someone’s charm or good looks, or intellect. It’s about their ADAPTABILITY to an ever-changing world - it’s about their growth as people. Are you not in some respect the child you once were? Yes, you are. And you are also the adult you are becoming.

"I am what I am" said Popeye.

THAT is a loser’s mentality.

By contrast, the winner says: "I am what I am becoming".

A person who cannot take criticism and refuses to admit when they’re wrong often operates from a place of deep insecurity. Their sense of self is tightly linked to being perceived as competent or flawless, so any suggestion of error feels like a personal attack rather than constructive feedback. Instead of evaluating the validity of the criticism, they tend to deflect, deny, or become defensive. This is not necessarily because they believe they are always right, but because acknowledging fault threatens their internal stability or image.

This is not to say one should go about self-flagellating and feeling wounded. Take the bruises and soldier on. If you are an evolving person, then the error is not YOU, it is the earlier version of you, or it is your earlier judgement call.

Choose to align with people who are also evolving. To stay with fragile people who put on airs of being strong - who seek status in their position - who seek domination in order to feel strong - THAT is a loser’s path. Side step these types and move on.

Is someone reacting with hostility and undermining of others? Instead of being proactive, are they turning the conversation into a blame game rather than a moment for reflection? Move on from such people. They are looking to surround themselves with people who reinforce their views or avoid confronting them, which only further entrenches their inability to self-correct. Over time, they may develop a reputation for being difficult to work with or unteachable, alienating coworkers, friends, and even family.

You don’t need such people in your journey of life or in business. Even if it means a setback in income.

In relationships - personal or professional - the behaviour that creates friction and imbalance is so contrary to the fundamental purpose of life: advancement, that to indulge those who can’t (read: won’t) adapt is to take the low road. O thers may walk on eggshells, avoid offering feedback, or stop engaging in honest dialogue altogether. Trust erodes when one party never owns their missteps. Ultimately, growth becomes stunted for the person who resists criticism, and they often fail to recognize how much they are holding themselves back by refusing to face uncomfortable truths.

Instead, take the high road - it’s less crowded. This is a message to myself as much as it is to any reader. Win the war that only you know you are fighting. Win the war against yourself.

Do you need a company of experts who strive to excellence and always act with virtue? Get in touch.

- Paul

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